Bleached Blonde:

My hair is currently bleached 3 times. I use purple shampoo, conditioner and treatment that acts as a brass banisher.

Macadamia is one of my favorite hair brands, I use the hair masque, oil, leave in conditioner, and detangling spray.

But because I still wake up with dry nappy hair, to instantly revive it, I wet my hands & add Macadamia Leave in Conditioner. This is bring back the softness and texture that is doesn't feel as crisp as bleached hair.

I'm also really loving this floral Batiste Dry Shampoo

This is what I am currently using on my hair to try to keep it from feeling like straw. Is it the best on the market? How can anyone truly know, or even know what works best for them except trial and error?

It's the same with the skin products I use. I always like to try new things that target my own skin problems: big pores + combination skin. Hence, my favorites may work for me but not for others. This goes for all skin bloggers. There are certain products that a lot of people/bloggers happen to like P50 Lotion is one of them.

Bubs NYC Favs:

Fav Food (not in order) : 

1. Smorgasburg (seasonal food vendor gathering)
2. Artichoke Basille’s Pizza ANY location (different take on NY pizza, but MUST)
3. Kenka (Japanese) & Big Gay Ice Cream 
4. Flushing (Northern Chinese, this place reminds me of my childhood in China & gets me teary)
5. Fish (steamers, fisherman’s stew, seafood galore in a casual setting)
6. Flex Mussels (mussels cooked any way which way)
7. Halal Guys (crazy famous food stand)
8. Congee Village (Southern Chinese)
9. Red Hook Lobster Pound (Lobster Rolls, 3 different kinds, multiple locations)
10. Get a hot sausage at a hot dog cart, ask for everything on it. 

Fav Places: 

1. Roof Top Bar at the Metropolitan Museum of Art as a beautiful view of the park. 
2. The Met is the best PERIOD and it's pay as you wish. 
3. The park, Central Park (it closes at 1am, don't get a trespassing ticket like me).
4. Imagine in Strawberry Fields (also in the park).
5. Natural History Museum (this is part of the park and also pay as you wish, seeing a theme?)
6. Brooklyn Bridge 
7. Williamsburg (flea markets, artsy stuff)
8. The piers in Brooklyn has a pretty view of Lower Manhattan (9 is near)
9. Koreantown (great Korean food, most restaurants on this street are open 24/7)
10. Union Square (great for people watching during the day)
11. Chelsea Market (food)
12. Aquarium Near Coney Island (because fish are so peaceful)
13. 59st Roosevelt Island Tram (the city from a birds eye view, great for sunset time)
14. Staten Island Ferry (the free way to see the Statue)
15. 9/11 Memorial (so sad)
16. Movies in the park (but not “the” park, summer thing be wary of mosquitoes bring repellant)

NYC seasonal events: 

• Summer- street fairs, smorgasburg, French Film on the Green, films in Bryant Park (HBO?) 
• Winter- winter markets, ice skating

Tourist things I do not like doing: 

1. Time Square during the day. I suggest at least after midnight but leave before 2am. 
2. Any super touristy thing during the day is annoying, but maybe I'm just a night owl. 

Things I want to do: 

1. Coney Island
2. Mets vs Giants game
3. Museum of Sex
4. Actually go to Ellis Island to see the Statue
5. Empire State Building
6. Chrysler Building

Self Discovery:

For others to understand the cam world, beyond the stigma and their prejudices, we need to start talking openly about the impact it has on us personally. (I'm preparing myself to ask my mom if she wants to know what I do for a living because I would really like to explain what I do, why I did it, why I choose to keep doing it, what I have learned and what I hope to gain from this).

Here is one of my reasons I truly appreciate about my job as a cam girl:


For me, I am a people pleaser. I want people to like me, I feel inadequate when people do not like me. When I talk to people face to face, it can be very over-whelming for me because while I'm talking I'm also hyper aware of their mannerisms. From the expressions on their face, gestures, body movements; people say way more than what the ears hear.


This makes it very exhausting for me to be around a lot of people or to be in crowded spaces because I am constantly trying to take in all of the stimuli. This is why I bring cigarettes to bars/conventions/parties etc, I need an excuse to get away from people. Alcohol is my social lube.


Camming is unique because it takes that factor out of the equation. It gives me the ability to talk to people without seeing their body language helps me think without the distraction of analyzing how they are reacting. This makes it easier for me because I'm not as fixated on how they are taking something, I'm more focused on trying to express myself properly.

I've expressed to my mom before that I have a hard time finding the words to express myself verbally, while something is happening. But after the moment is gone, I'll realize what I was thinking or I'll put words to emotions, but I'm unable to do that on the spot because I am so caught up analyzing other things.

Trying to go outside of my comfort zone and talk to people. It makes me feel really awkward. But once I start talking, the self-doubt subsides a little. Being on cam is helping me be able to speak my mind more so in person.


One of these days I'm hoping to be able to speak my mind in a healthy way, not bottling it up and/or being passive aggressive.


After 6 years on cam, I'm still learning and trying to figure myself out. This is what I really appreciate about my job. The freedom to do whatever, which gives me the ability to find myself, at my pace, through the choices I make. They may not be the best or smartest choice, but they are mine, and if I make a mistake, I will try to learn from it. But I've always been the type to learn by actually doing, fucking shit up, and trying to pick up the pieces.


 
 


Tributes for Wants/Needs:

Models, join today!

Biologique Recherche P50:

I recommended this to a model earlier today. This is a cult classic that skin bloggers/vloggers rave about.

There are 6 different versions available, P50 (original), P50V (mature skin), P50W (sensitive skin). Each of these these three come in the original 1970 formula and the new phenol-free formula.

I love my p50 new version, but it takes getting used to because of the "purging". Not all experience it. So, I highly recommend reading the different reviews about it because everyone's skin is different and will have various experiences with it.

But overall, it's not drying like most Western toners. It restores the PH balance. It's list of ingredients are simple and natural. Asian toners are different. There's more info about other skincare products here -> http://bubspinkbubble.blogspot.com/2016/09/skin-care-stuff.html

I don't really feel the need to write any more on the this because there have been so many in-depth reviews about this product that surpass my knowledge and writing ability.

http://skinandtonics.com/biologique-recherche-lotion-p50-original-1970-new-formula/
I like this review because it has a break down of the ingredients to help users pick between the original vs new formula.

http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/blog/2016/8/12/review-skincare-biologique-recherche-p50
This blogger references a lot of posts in her review about P50.

http://www.allure.com/review/biologique-recherche-lotion-p50v
Allure fav.

http://beautyeditor.ca/2014/07/31/biologique-recherche-lotion-p50
Beauty editor calls it, "Miracle in a bottle".

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/06/jesus-in-a-bottle-french-skin-care-product.html
NY Mag calls it, "Jesus in a bottle".

http://www.brooklynblonde.com/2015/04/biologique-recherche-review.html
HG product, "If you’re going to walk away from this post and choose to invest in only one of these products, there’s no doubt that it should be the P50."

Is it the best on the market? How can anyone truly know, or even know what works best for them except trial and error? I always like to try new things that target my own skin problems: big pores + combination skin. Hence, my favorites may work for me but not for others. This goes for all skin bloggers. There are certain products that a lot of people/bloggers happen to like P50 Lotion is one of them.

Bubs Random Hobbies

Useless Talent #12