Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Flashpoint:

"Accept the things you cannot change. Have the courage to change the things you can... and have the wisdom to know the difference."

I often try not to stress over the things that are out of my control because I know that the only thing I can control is myself. I wanted to be a psychologist, and was a psych major in college because I wanted to help people. But through seeing a therapist in college, I realized people can only change themselves. This realization discouraged me from that path of being a psychologist. From there, I was lost.

I like camming because I am in control.

It's really easy to be in control when it's just me, myself and I. But when others are involved, I don't know what happens to me; I have the tendency to lose myself.

When people start getting close to me, whether it's in my personal life or through camming. I start freaking out.

The only part of that equation I can control: is myself.

I need to be better disciplined in controlling my feelings. Control that feeling of anxiety that I get when I let my guards down because I need to realize how strong I am.

I've already lost the person I love the most in this world, and I survived. My grandpa was the only person in this world, who loved me unconditionally. It's taken me years to learn to live with that pain and for that I am stronger.

I can't control what others do. But I can control what I do. I try to look out for myself by protecting myself but I can't be like Holly Golightly and keep myself locked in a I built myself.

I can't control what people say to me, but I can control how I react and how it makes me feel.

No comments:

Post a Comment