Friday, November 18, 2016

Slack:

There are many things I could, should, would apologize for but I don't have all day.

I am human and I have flaws. Many times we only see what we want to see because our ego is too strong to take in reality.

One thing I realize that I do not understand is the way you tell me you are "too shy" to talk to me in my room because I'm an introvert, I prefer to be by myself.

In person, sometimes I dress to intimidate and scare people off on purpose because I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers. But I force myself to go out of my comfort zone. A lot of times I use substances like weed or alcohol to help facilitate my social interactions but it doesn't always help. I'm a shit mess because I have always had a hard time controlling my alcohol intake. But that's my problem and I'm working on it.

But, I can't empathize with being "too shy" to type in a chatroom. When I'm staring at one or two members that can talk yet wont or refuse to talk, it's very frustrating. I don't really know how to deal with that frustration in a healthy way.

First, I am inclined to blame myself. That feeling of insecurity and self-consciousness makes me want to ban a person for not talking because they are making me feel bad about myself. Like there's something wrong with me that makes people not want to talk to me.

Lately, I've been inclined to drink, which is bad. It is bad because I am not treating my body with respect by self medicating when I know the root of this problem is the lack of room engagement when I am online begging for people to talk.

It does not take anything to acknowledge another person especially when you are sitting in a chatroom with me in my bedroom. This is a very personal space I don't just let people into my space.

You are not obligated to tip just because you are talking. With that said, at some point, if you can't tip, and you are keeping the model from engaging with other people then perhaps, you should reconsider doing something else with your time. I say this because sometimes someone will say to me, I wanted to private but I left because I didn't want to interrupt your conversation with so and so.

So I will try to cut you guys more slack and understand this too shy thing, have more patience when people are not talking as well as try harder to entertain but please try with me, acknowledge my presence and perhaps we can meet each other somewhere in the middle and start having some fun?

1 comment:

  1. Bubs, first of all you are right about one thing for as long as I've been dropping by your room I've been too shy to talk to you but would still talk to you atleast. there's nothing wrong with being shy. there were times where myself & few others would talk still eventhough we'd be unable to tip or for the moment while others wouldn't talk to you orso. i mean yeah, if no one talks to you, you have a right to get rid of them. there's nothing wrong with having conversations with another human being especially with someone who's cute also funny. however now I'd get busy in the evenings now & can't even see you on as much than when i didn't get too busy during the evenings. i wouldn't mind talking to you still atleast when i can see you on again when I'm not busy. i really do miss talking to you bubs.

    there were times i was even worried about you alot cause of what you were going through, i mean there's nothing wrong with caring for someone right? there's nothing wrong talking to you but if no one talks to you then might as well not bother with them cause they are wasting your time, it's like they are even being assholes abit by being rude ignoring you while they are online only sitting in your room while you want to be acknowledged cause they are in your room. it's your realm, your space.

    I have my flaws also, everyone does. nobody's perfect in this world. i like to be by myself too witch pretty much am kinda a loner type also cause there are reasons for that. in a way, i think we are alike to some degree we just haven't talked that deep yet than just randomness of stuff to talk about. anyway soon we'll talk more, still can't figure who or why anyone wouldn't talk to an incredible hottie such as yourself but those who don't than those who actually do talk to you, etc just get rid of them only cause they will make everyone in the room look bad.

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