Jenny Fucking Blighe

I've had a crush on Jenny's beautiful body since she made her appearance in the Top20. I remember introducing myself, and she was so chill. A lot of models can be difficult to approach for a number of reasons, and even after managing to talk to them, sometimes the response is not always positive or well received.

When I got to meet her, I was moved by her humility. She's incredibly humble.

We got to hang out in Dallas, the same night after my very first stripping experience. But she had no clue at the time, and I never put the two events on the same timeline until this trip. 

As we kept in touch, here and there she would suggest "working", and my insecurity would kick in and I would feel subpar to her in comparison of following and camscore. 

But coming to the realization that she doesn't make me feel bad about artificial things that don't actually define a person, made me realize just how fucked up the system is.

In a setting where we are constantly surrounded by people who praise us, we start to let that dictate our own self worth. We shouldn't feel like these things make us who we are. 

I admire Jenny for so many reasons, superficially, I love Barbie growing up and physically she may as well by ginger Barbie.

As a parent, the efforts she puts in is inspiring. I was raised by a single mom who sacrificed a lot of her life to give me everything she could possibly give me. I see that same spirit in Jenny. Everything she does, she does from the love of her children... children who are so beautiful, I miss them.

As a colleague, her content ideas, editing skills, and overall work ethic is en pointe. 

When I asked Jenny about us working together, I told her I am struggling as I am transitioning away from non nude. I feel lost and don't know what to do. I don't really know how to sell my body because for the last 6 years, I've been trying to sell my brains.

When I got home I had a friend ask if camming with Jenny helped financially. My response:

• I didn't expect my time with Jenny to correct my own financial short comings, but I had fun making content. I'm happy to cling onto what I like about work so that I'm not resentful of it. My friendships and connections are keeping me in the game. I don't know if it makes sense but whether or not working with Jenny was a financial success, it was a personal success because right now I just need to hold onto what I love about this job, so that I work harder to make it work. Being around her, her kids, seeing how she is not on her phone when she's with her kids, those were breaks I needed and things I need to implement in my own life. I recently changed to a different work table and now it's not next to my bed. Even that minor change was huge. I was getting so bad, I would go hang out with a friend, and I'd bring my phone and be like "ok I have IG posts to catch up on". So next time we hang out, I’m going to try to not work because I want to be more present. I think all this extra time I put into camming, is making me resentful too, like I'm spending all this time, snapping, talking on snapchat, blogging, etc and my camscore is dropping and dropping, makes me kind of despise it all. So the fact she has a studio, drives there, comes home and is not working as much when she's with her kids it was so much healthier, which is not something most can do, but it's something we can try to implement. 

Jenny has a very mature outlook on GG cam shows, there are slow days and there are slow days with two girls, but ultimately the fact that two girls brings in more traffic. We shouldn’t be torturing ourselves with trying to analyze the situation. It’s easy to compare GG shows to our best solo days because we know what we’ve been capable of by ourselves. But all of that is luck and kismet.

If you are going to work together with someone: learn to share and respect one another.

Camscore, following, all of that means jack shit when you get on cam. Cam chemistry, member participation, off cam chemistry, content chemistry, it's never predictable and may not even overlap.

We talked about our cam anxieties, how we are anxious because the ups and downs make us unsure of how things will go. I had someone ask me when they will be getting the videos and I freaked because I am well aware of the to do list. I often find that sometimes external pressure from members will make the situation worse, and sometimes I will snap. Please be patient with me, I am trying my best.

Members please be patient with models, we are one person, there are limited hours in a day, between twitter, emails, MFC mail, snapchat, instagram, manyvids, videos, editing, profiles, these are all time consuming things we use and/or do as part of our on cam job OFF-cam. It's a lot.

Being around Jenny has probably been one of the most eye opening experiences. The way she separates her personal life from camming was extremely refreshing.

Hanging out with her and the kids, I turned my phone on airplane mode for the first time not on a plane so that I could be fully in the present moment. That was beautiful.

I've been feeling isolated due to the lack of connections with members but that's opened my heart to connections with people all around me. I've gotten closer with models who are amazing beyond words, members who are supportive of that fact that I am doing what I love and trying to find my happiness, and others I've met through my involvement in the industry. This is my own path, one that I've chosen for myself. 

Shoutout to Miss JennyBlighe. Thank you for being apart of my journey of self-discovery and sexual adventures. You are a fucking professional and I freaken love you.