It started when I graduated college. I had my eye on the owner of the company that I worked for at the time. On the day I got fired, he asked me to have coffee, I thought, "Hell, why not?". Then it progressed to video games over wine. He told me his gf liked me, out of respect for her as a woman, I asked him to wait till she was around so we can all play together.
So finally one night we did bottle service at some club, her and I got so hot and heavy we were practically doing it at the club. That night of drunken debauchery will forever be on my mind as one of the hottest nights of my life. So many endless positions, sharing with her has become kind of a thing for us after that. Let's call her Ella.
My second threesome experience was probably the worst. My best friend at the time had our eyes on the same guy. I got the guy, but not long after I suggested to share him with her. Only problem was, she's completely not into girls, so we didn't kiss, she didn't let me kiss her boobies, nothing. It was kind of lame because the best thing about threesomes for me is having a beautiful woman to share a cock. I fucked him, and then masturbated to watching those two fuck. I didn't really feel anything. Perhaps it was just because I didn't really like him all that much. This was shortly before I started camming.
(Some time after I started camming, Ella and I had a GG encounter, but no cock, not as fun.)
The third was funny because I'm really naive to people hitting on me. I'm trying to not be so dumb but I'm used to having guy friends where they don't do anything. Hence, I have the tendency to think other guys don't have sexual intentions. Ella invited me to meet her new guy with her group of friends. I was instantly attracted to him, just like the first guy we shared. I fucked him with my eyes all night long, fantasizing about him. There were so many cues and clues I should have picked up on but I didn't really know it was happening until my friend Ella kissed her dude, kissed me, then kind of pushed our heads together, that's when I was like... "ohhhhh". As hot as he was, that guy turned out to be kind of a douche, and I'm so glad I got to fuck him and leave.
My fourth time was with Ella again, was after AVN a couple of years ago. She sent me a picture of her new guy. Gorgeous as always. I swear her and I have the same taste in men. Her suggestion... we dress up as sexy secretaries and try to slut our way into a promotion. At this point Ella and I have shared 3 men together, all hers.
Ella and I met up for our 4th threesome with the same guy as the previous experience. Thankfully I was on my period because that guy fucks like a jack hammer and I just don't enjoy the way he fucks. We were doing a GG bj on him but then she hands him a camera to film, and I got kind of awkward because as a camgirl, I would want to sell the footage and I know that she would want to keep it private. (This is where the desire for a bgg BJ video stemmed from and I'm so so so happy I got to do it with Jenny. Anyway I'm getting to that one.) We proceeded to the bedroom and I choked her as she got fucked. I always have a lot of fun playing with her because she's fucking hot. I say yes to Ella because I do it her. If playing with her comes with a dude, sure I'm in.
- Side Note: Sex to me is weird. I love it and hate it. When I am getting laid, I want it all the time, multiple times a day. Once I stop, I go on a cock cleanse for a minimum of 8 months (not purposefully, it's just something I've noticed). I recently broke my 14mos cleanse, which was too long. But it had to be done because I usually get really attached to who I'm fucking, even if they are douchebags. I hate that. I hate that I get attached to douchebags, I get jealous and possessive, it's so biological it's annoying. I start to annoy myself, probably why I go on a "cock cleanse". So I try to be picky about who I fuck so that I don't start getting all sappy over some prick. With that said, some how I don't feel much when it comes to threesomes. I don't get attached to the cock as a guest. Guys think a BGG/MFF threesome is all about the guy, it really isn't, at least not with me. With me, it's all about the girl. The cock is there for fucking and sucking or whatever but my main focus is always on the other woman.
I had a text conversation with a model who's bf I've been drooling over, which the topic of sharing came up. So we made plans to hook up. I have yet to make sense of it all, but it was hot. For her privacy, I will leave the details out of it.
- All this really just makes the topic of threesomes float around my brain. Society, culture, tradition tells us that monogamy is the "norm". Then, when I was young, my mom told me all the men she's dated or married has either cheated on her or she was the other woman. She told me that men cheat, if they don't do it, they think about it. So ever since I started dating, I've tried to beat them to the punch but usually with girls (if that even counts). I'm not sure if people are really meant to be monogamous. It's a nice concept, but how often are people happy when they are monogamous? I don't have any model relationships. All the monogamous people I know are miserable. The ones that cheat are even more miserable because of all the hiding they have to do, it's so tedious. When it comes to threesomes, it almost defies the term "cheating". I've heard of cheating as doing something behind someone's back that involves lying, it's an act of dishonesty. Then I start to think, "What are people really upset about? Is it the carnal act of sex and lust or is it the the betrayal of hiding and lying?".
- Someone asked me why a person would bring an attractive person to fuck their bf, my response, "Would you want to see your boyfriend fuck someone ugly?". Me personally, because I am attracted to girls, I'd want to be involved. The thought of my guy doing something with another chick when I'm not around drives me nuts, because it's biology. But in a threesome scenario the thought is extremely intoxicating.
- I often fantasize about a relationship with a man and a woman because I think that's the answer. Then I wonder if maybe threesomes are the answer to the mere possibility of a true and lasting relationship. But it's neither. The answer is communication, being able to tell another person what you want and what you like. It's not easy to say, "I want to fuck someone else", but we think it. It's not easy to share our deepest darkest desires but when you do tell someone and you find someone that understands and doesn't judge you, that's when you start to find yourself.
All I want to do, is find the courage to be myself each and every day. Live a life without the fear of judgement because my life is my own. #DreamofEnlightenment.
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