Cam Friends:

So the other day, I had about 135ppl in my room for a decent amount of time, yet I was at 15tkns for the hour. I messaged a model friend of mine, Christy_love and I asked her for advice on how to urge guys to tip in public chat.

Admittedly, I had her premium account banned for life because I'm an impatient cunt like that.

So after having her unbanned, she came in to give me some great advice.

I just wanted to say that I am really thankful to have co-workers who I know I can go to for help and they will be kind and try to help me because I am not one to ask for help. I pride myself around my independence but I think sometimes we have to admit when we do need help.

RedChasten came into my room the other day, tipped me, and the next thing I know, guys were tipping me because she had told them to, with a PM from her that said "Merry Christmas from my room". I felt so torn. I love Red because she has such a big heart but I was sad that I didn't know anyone in my room that could return that love for me, nor am I in the position to return the favor in terms of tokens. Which just makes me feel Hell bent on trying to spoil her back when I do get a chance to see her. Hopefully that will be Vegas, but my attendance is undecided at the moment. I am just not sure I can actually afford the flight. I simply don't have any more room on my credit cards. I know, I'm a shit mess in the finance department.

JennyBlighe I've known for a few years now. She never really ceases to blow my mind. Her beauty but grace, that woman is a fucking class act. She's kind, unselfish and someone who simply treats me the way a friend does. She looks out for me and she's got my back. She is one of few models I know, where I felt that I could ask her for help and she wasn't going to look down on me for it and judge me by something as artificial as "camscore". I appreciate having her in my life so much, I will always do the same for her out of the respect that I have her.

AAPL_ who was the first model to ask me to be her AVN roomie all the way back in SEPTEMBER!! I admire her so much for everything that she has going on, her creativity, for being so well balanced. Her generosity and spirit is something I treasure so much. When I told her about my issue with a top member threatening to roofie and rape me, she asked me to visit her simply so that I can have company, and I'm not alone. I appreciate that so much.

WildeSky has such a big heart. I wish the world for her. I also spent a lot of time with her this year, she even had her room come into my room to wish me a happy birthday earlier this year. It simply made my day.

The new models I've met this year that I felt a kindness from: Saffron who I met in Chicago, but in Jersey, I was feeling so so so insecure, on the brink of tears (admittedly drunk as well), took time out of her day at the expo to hug me and talk to me to try to lift up my spirits. She's just so empathetic even via Twitter, I feel like it keeps me going.

AvianaRose is very new as a model, but she's the only person I know on my snapchat that actively talks to me through it and comments on my snaps. I'm not sure she knows just how encouraging her compliments are to me.

AmberVixx I met recently as well, but heart man heart. It is so refreshing. I'm not sure how, but I just feel so heavily when people have a big heart and it is so transparent.

Having a big heart is probably the purest, simplest form of being an authentic person. A person that is not fake, a person who is completely themselves. 

ALL of the connections I have made from being a cam girl keeps me going because their hearts have touched mine.

I almost feel like I could go on and on about all the models I trust to call my friends. Girls who are self-less, kind, supportive and loyal. I love the people I've met from my job as a cam girl. I appreciate having a job where I want to work on a daily basis, not everyone can say that about what they do for a living.

People are lame if they think I would ever double cross my friends, or think that they can talk shit without it getting back to the person they are talking about. I feel people are insulting my intelligence when they are being two-faced and think I am clueless.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you, thank you for being in life. My heart is filled with so much joy when I stop and count my blessings.

P.S. I want to wife BabeVonDetta so I'm not going to tell you how badass she is...