Grief:

I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream that I don't recall, except this quote,

"We often try to find meaning in death, where instead we should look for meaning in life." 

I took this to mean, sometimes people die and we wonder why, but instead we should look for the meaning of the life they lived.

In the beginning of this year, my mom's best friend's daughter took her own life. This tragedy was followed by the passing of my childhood best friend's mom from cancer. I was in a severe state of depression because I kept wondering "why"? Why do good people have to die so early?

This quote made me realize that I shouldn't dwell on why they died, but why they lived. I should focus on the impact they had when they were alive.

Focus on the legacy they leave behind, and remember to live my own life with meaning.

Some wonder what is the meaning of life? The way Stephen Hawking explains it is, it is unique to our species that we even ponder on the question "why". The meaning of life, is what we give it.

I feel my life has meaning from the human connections that I formed and I have formed the most unique and profound connections through my job as a camgirl because I have found people who are like minded. People who are nerds, intellectual, and perverted.

Thank you for being in my life and giving my life meaning.